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I got to know – or as much as possible online – a couple of regular men, with whom I conducted tentative conversations that were thoughtful and sweet, and that only developed into something more suggestive after much respective vetting and, on my part, several glasses of red wine. That initial separation, I later learned, all but ensured I would never be able to successfully bond with her.
I began writing everything down, to help make sense of it, first for myself, then for others.Mercifully, the kind and complicated man I was married to focused too.I'd always heard that you have to work at a marriage.Some people can handle guilt well, and can happily juggle more than one life.
I failed – the guilt was profound – and so began the painful but necessary process of erasing one and focusing solely on the other, the one that had come first.
And so our long-nurtured virtual affair became real.