Then it will automatically be a habit once this person comes into your life – you are as busy thinking about how to serve them as opposed to getting something out of them. God says that pure religion is that we take care of the widows and the orphans, so sowing into the lives of someone we might never see is an act of service and something that brings pleasure to the heart of God.Love is not about what we get; it’s about what we give: ‘God so loved the world that He GAVE,’ not that He took. Also, sowing into yourself, taking care of yourself.So God gave us this incredible gift to touch and inspire and exhort and encourage people and make them believe that they can do anything. And in a team, no one is ever on the same level, but they all work together to win the game.Sometimes I think as women, when we get into relationships with men, because of ideas from the culture or because we are into our careers we can think, ‘I am second to this dude.’ We have this philosophy that he has all the power. Power shifts on a team from player to player, depending on what’s most important at the time.That’s why I ask people, ‘What do you want your relationship to look like? ’ Accomplished, attractive, career-wise women can be completely scary to single Christian men. By being more interested in them than you are in yourself.A lot of times we are very impressed with ourselves, and we like to share all that we have done with everyone we meet. I think that we should be like a good country: you just discover beautiful things about the person, and it’s not all thrown into your face at the same time.If you make him feel first, he will latch onto that feeling.
In the process of understanding why a man is in your life, it is certainly not for him to fill in all the blanks. The person in your life is going to make you grow and is going to stretch you beyond where you are.In the midst of that, he starts to feel really good about himself, and people get addicted to us based on how they feel when they are in our presence.So, if he knows that every time he is with you he feels important and special, then all that other stuff is not going to overwhelm him.I think that the heart of a servant is an important thing. You go to the store, and they act like they are doing you a favor when they are being paid to serve you.
I think that that translates over into home life and our relationships, where we are not as sensitive to the art of being a servant anymore. I go back to service again – and that’s just beyond your inner circle, because I think that sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we are serving when we pick people to serve that we get something out of.
So I am the last single one standing in my inner group. One is a pastor of a church, the other has a high-profile advertising job, and the other one is a housewife.