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02-Nov-2019 18:10

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Perhaps obvious douchewanks with hot chicks in tow have vanished like Rollo Tomase chasing Keyser Soze. and I'm not talking about sugar-free carbonated soft drinks.Even if you have a great conversation with a person, you're not going to want to bone them if they look like Rex from close to getting it right—the one thing they didn't anticipate: charging money kills erections faster than, I dunno, bees?The sole review on the app's page summarizes it nicely: "You buy points to promote yourself, and to view/ message other ppl, and to see who liked you. down the drain." The transition from desktop to mobile for websites is a bit like the great change from silent films to talkies during the late 1920s. Unfortunately, POF seems to be succumbing to the same fate.We live in a fluff-free era—people know what they want and aren't afraid to express their opinion in ALL CAPS, followed by a series of passive-aggressive emojis. In hopes of answering your burning questions, here are 13 dating apps ranked (lovingly and subjectively) on how likely you are to end up takin' old one-eye to the optometrist.

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The stick-thin model look is relatively new, and most men will agree that the fuller figure is still much more desirable.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018 So where did all those rank stench pics that fueled the HCw DB run (2006-2014) actually come from? So I relied on the kindness of douche mocking strangers to fill my site with mock fuel. All ye glorious ‘bag hunters and hott lusters of yesteryear, it’s been an entire ten sun circles since we first discovered the legendary Hottie/Douchey suburban Jerz High School melted orange Julius that was the Oompa Prompas. We cried like canaries in the fist pumping club mines, screaming our warnings of the toxic man-children of privilege raging, raging, against the dying of their birthright. Tuesday, August 8, 2017 Going through the ole’ HCw DB archives one day and I stumbled into an assortment of unholy steaming ferret load of a toad pimple from way back in the dark days of Hottie/Douchey defenestration in 2010.

I was (and am) far too lazy to do any real work on the internets. We saw the signs of imminent decay all around us, fraying, shredding at all that we had built up in the latter decades of the twentieth century. There were stench art legends like Douche or Dali, The Leprechaun, Captain Jack Spackle, The Armpit of America, The Ass Pimples and Aqua Brunette, Tony with the Car Dealership, Night of the Living Bed-Head, Vince Vaughnbag, Queen Bee and the Power Chord, Willy Wanker, The Velvet Helmet, Cuisinart Carl, The Olive Loaf and Yellow Dress Hott, and the brilliantly named Thornton Mellon Stewie Head. HCw DB may be finished, but the mock will never die. And I still plan to see all of you when my genius is finally acknowledged at the HCw DB Art Show at the Guggenheim in 2023.

Some film stars made it and some didn't—take Buster Keaton, for example, he tried singing. People want sex and they want it now—from the moment the app is downloaded to the moment of the actual date, the number of steps is, frankly, too high.

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