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Your boyfriend’s mother has a whole different perspective on your relationship, and she probably doesn’t think anything needs to change!Remember this when you’re reading through my tips on how to stop your boyfriend’s mother from ruining your relationship: your boyfriend’s mother doesn’t feel the need to change what she’s doing.I’ve learned that “I statements” come in pretty handy in any relationship – marriage, work, and even my neighbors.Here’s a formal explanation of why I-Statements work, from the Human Potential Center’s website: “I-Statements require healthy self-disclosure, and self-disclosure requires vulnerability. It’s very difficult to carry on an argument when both people are using I-Statements; it’s very difficult to stop an argument when both people are using You-Statements.
His family dynamics have been going on for decades – since before your boyfriend was even born!
They’re like an exclusive country club where membership makes impossible demands and the dues for an outsider are exorbitant.” ~ Erma Bombeck, Families create a whole different dynamic when it comes to romantic relationships, especially when an “outsider” like you has come into the picture.
You may see your boyfriend’s family as the outsider; they probably see you as the outsider.
How about you – what have you wanted to change about yourself? People like things the way they are, thank you very much, and there’s no reason to change.
His family may not be aware they’re ruining your boyfriend’s relationship with you – or maybe they just don’t care. Relationship problems are difficult to resolve even when everyone involved is willing and wants to change!We are now spending our time together discussing how we will get through the family issues, rather than focusing on us and having quality time.